


Dream of me

by Catsarecutebutaliens



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Episode Fix-It: s12e01 Spyfall Part 1, Episode: s12e02 Spyfall Part 2, F/F, Ficlet, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Kissing, Memory Alteration, Mild Angst, Non Consensual Memory Alteration, different ending, hints of dark doctor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 06:22:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22291450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catsarecutebutaliens/pseuds/Catsarecutebutaliens
Summary: After saving the world from the Kasaavin, the Doctor has one last thing to do.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Ada Lovelace
Comments: 8
Kudos: 51





	Dream of me

**Author's Note:**

> The thought of Ada and Thirteen kissing would not leave my mind so I finally decided to just write it out. A semi-fix it of the ending. I hope you enjoy.

They have arrived back in 1834, a few hours after the Doctor left through the Kasaavin, unintentionally taking Ada with her. The sun was hidden behind the horizon now and a carelessly large amount of bare candles was lighting the room. It looked different from when they left. 

Quieter, heavier.

"Doctor?"

Ada was the first to leave the TARDIS, her skirts swinging around her legs as she swiftly moved over the wooden doorstep back into her time.

Thirteen followed her, hands buried in her coat pockets to hide the crescent-shaped imprints her nails had left in her palms. She knew what she had to do now, the same thing she had already done to Noor Inayat Khan, but a part of herself was resisting, reluctant to hurt her in any way.

Ada's voice didn't lose any of its melodic tones as she spoke, but there was an edge to it now, a tinge of desperation as if she knew what was about to be done to her. She was still walking towards the fireplace and the Doctor fixed her eyes on the flames, simply following her steps with aching hearts.

"Does this have to be the end? All the things I've learned, the advances, the machines! The world is so full of wonders I will never know." 

The wooden floor creaked as she suddenly came to a stop, turning around with wide eyes and watching the Doctor come to a halt mere inches away from her. A moment of quiet allowed her to breathe, to lock eyes with vast blue before averting her gaze.

The Doctor has been here before, not in this time, not with her, but with people like her. Some had begged her to stay, to let them keep the memories they had made together, and only once has she listened. Her pain was the same every time, dark and disconsolate as it wrapped itself around her chest and spun tighter with every heartbeat.

Ada sighed, her hands wrapping around themselves in thought, and stepped even closer, softly saying: "I would dearly love to see more, Doctor. More of the world, of you. I do not want this to be the end of us."

Thirteen finally looked up, drawn in by her voice and the conflicting emotions blustering inside of her. Orange flames lit up her face, layering shadows beneath her cheeks. It was a mistake, she realized within a heartbeat, but it was too late. Ada leaned in, secure in her actions and feelings before gently brushing her lips against the Doctor's.

One hand wrapped instinctively around her waist, pulling her closer, while her body tried to remember itself. Kissing was new for this life, this face, and the sensations were overwhelming her. 

For a second, both stood perfectly still, frozen in the moment, before the Doctor rose from her rigor and pushed back into the kiss, longing to taste, to feel, to  _ touch.  _ Hands wandered on their own, moving from Ada's waist to her face to cup her cheeks. Ada sighed, lips parting willingly beneath the Doctor's and she let herself fall forward, fingers reaching up to tangle in her hair.

Kissing a woman was different now. Somehow softer, easier, better. Sparks of dulled pleasure shot through her abdomen, enlightening her and unlocking a desire she had been trying to ignore and keep contained.

Slowly, she let her fingertips inch upwards until her fingertips could reach Ada's temples, whose breath was heavy and sweet against her lips.

One last time, the Doctor let herself indulge in the kiss, swiftly licking along Ada's bottom lip and enjoying the breathless moan that left her throat. Fingers lightly scratched over her scalp when Ada pulled back just enough to take time to breathe. She knew if she didn't act now, Ada would not leave her side for a long time.

The Doctor leaned forward, letting their foreheads fall together, and pressed her fingertips against Ada's temples with closed eyes, erasing the last days from her mind, second by second, careful to not harm the rest of her memories. 

" _ Oh," _ was all Ada breathed before all the tension left her body and she sagged against the Doctor, unconscious.

_ I'm sorry. _

__

__

Her movements were slow and deliberate when she sat Ada down into the chair by the fire, tucking back a strand of hair that had come loose.

__

The Doctor looked at her peaceful figure, forcing back the tears stinging in her eyes and pressing one last kiss to her cheek.

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"It's better this way."

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Her empty words echoed in an empty room, leaving her with a short future and empty promises of hope and better times. Maybe someday she could convince herself she had done this for Ada or to keep the timeline in order, but the truth was, she was scared. Scared of letting people in, of allowing them to know her beyond the walls she had built and kept in place for decades and decades of traveling. Ada could not know the future and she could not know the truth about the Doctor.

__

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_ It's better this way. _

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"Sweet dreams, Ada Lovelace."

__


End file.
